Caiden is 8 1/2 months old, but he's not like other babies his age. He's not even like babies his adjusted age. I still haven't adjusted to adjusted age.. I don't know anyone with a preemie born around his birthday or gestation so gauging where he's supposed to be in his development is anyones guess.
It's hard to explain to other parents how hard it is to raise a preemie. Sure my husband and I are lucky that so far Caiden has no major health problems. A lot of people have it much worse, but this is what we have to live with, this is our everyday, our reality. This is what we have to focus on. It might not seem like a big deal or a huge issue to worry about but it is for us.
When you're pressured since the first moments of your child's life to expect problems and the importance of their development, that's all you can focus on. Sure I could enjoy being able to put my son down in one place and not worry about him getting into something but if that means my child is behind or not developing as fast as he's supposed to, I'm going to worry and do everything in my power to encourage him to improve.
It's not about me, its about him and ensuring he has a wonderful future ahead of him. He might do things slower than most babies but its not for a lack of trying. One day he'll do something new, but the time it takes him to learn that new skill, I'm going to be nervous about why he's not doing it yet.
It's hard to be happy for anyone when their baby learns something Caiden hasn't, I always feel like he should be doing it already and it pulls at my heart. It reminds me how unfair it is to him that he has to struggle to learn these things. It's not his fault he came so early, he should be a normal baby boy. He should be eight weeks and two days younger than he is.
Sure he's come a long way since he was born but there's a long hard road ahead of him still. As his mother I want the best for him, I hope when he's old enough to understand how his life began and the significance of it all that he's as proud of himself as I am. He's learned things normal babies never had to learn and I hope as he grows he'll do all the things he sets his mind to. If he can learn to survive at 3 1/2 pounds he can do anything.


Caiden is an amazing boy and has an amazing mom :). Although, I know it's not the same because my baby is not a preemie sometimes I skip posts about the babies doing something new, or having teeth because I start comparing and then fearing Joshua is behind. I helped raise my niece, who was a preemie, born at 2.5lbs. I remember how we had to "remind" her to suck or swallow.. things that can be taken for granted.. but it just makes them tough, determined children. Caiden will continue to be amazing :)
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